Motivation Fail...

Well, this was inevitable, right? My complete lack of motivation once the work came to get it done... Personally, I think that giving someone a semester of their own to work on a thesis and then shoving them back into courses, where they have to read assigned books and write about things they don't necessarily want to write about is a very cruel joke. At first the prospect of a class schedule and developing a rigid schedule for myself was exciting. And I realize that I'm saying at first and I've only completed half of a week of the semester, but the schedule of work I wrote out in my planner for the week completely failed. I can partially blame my class fiasco of Wednesday, but we all know that I'm digging for an excuse. Well, let's hope I can buckle down next week, because with Mandy's wedding coming and my two conferences, I NEED discipline now more than ever...

Moving on...I'm dying for fall to arrive. I know that I blabbed on and on about my love for autumn in a previous blog, but now that it's almost September I'm completely ready. There are a few brownish/yellowish leaves in trees and on the ground, but I'm still encountering ninety degree days. And pumpkins....geeze I want pumpkin everything right now. Pumpkin beer, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin fudge, pumpkin decorations, pumpkin candles (I keep going to Bath and Body Works hoping they have their candles on sale, but they don't!). I want to start wearing my cardigans. I broke out my moccasins the other day so that was nice. I want to need a jacket. Also, once it starts getting cooler I won't feel bad about days like today, in which I don't plan on putting real clothes on at all. AND my air conditioner will stop running. Well, I suppose I could turn it off now, but that would be awful.

Well, time to get this show on the road I suppose. I've been getting up surprisingly early the past few weeks, so it's not quite noon and I've already had couch time, made and ate pancakes, took Wheezer for a walk, cleaned my kitchen, have a load of laundry in the washer, and am finishing my online procrastination. I foresee a long day of reading ahead of me.

Blog Barf

Oy vey! I have sooooooo much on my mind. I haven't blogged in a while because every time I considered it I realized that I had tons that I would like to talk about and it would take quite some time to get it all down on paper. I'll try to sum it all up in a less than lengthy post.

I taught today. It went quite well. I only have 13 students which I am INCREDIBLY happy about. That's more than 10 under the cap so I could've potentially had 12 more of everything to grade. But I was just me and the students seemed to be at least content being in the room. I can't blame them for not being happy. I would've been pretty pissed to be in a composition and communication class AND to be there at 8am. But I had them talking to partners, to the class, free-writing, and a while at least thinking. I hope it keeps going swimmingly.

I had my first class of my own yesterday and I kinda think I rocked it! Well, especially when you consider the fact that I found out 15 minutes ahead of time that I actually had the class. But, I think I managed to say several semi-intelligent things in class and my professor kinda looked Willy Wonka a la Gene Wilder. He had this crazy curly hair that kind of stuck up and he just seemed kind of silly. I think we'll probably get along quite well. Yay! I have my two other classes on Monday, so we'll see how those go.

I'm making friends! Not that you were all concerned that I wouldn't, but it's still one of those things a person can't help but fret a bit about. What if the people you meet just don't like you? What if you just don't jive? What if other people aren't that outgoing? What if I am suddenly not that outgoing? But we all know that I can't be shut up lol. But what if others are annoyed by me? And as I've said before, making new friends is just such hard work. Turns out, however, that the process has been quite smooth and easy. We're all in the same boat. And, well, what better to bring a group of people together than a week of grueling orientation!

I've only had one serious homesick spell, so I consider that a win! It just sort of came upon me. I got up on Saturday, watched a movie on TV, showered, and then I just started crying. I went out and looked at pretty things I would like to buy and then some of these new friends invited me out, so all was well. It's still an adjustment, but I'm used to living alone, so the day-to-day isn't so bad.

Honestly, I'm not sure if there is anything else I would like to elaborate on at the moment. Things are going surprisingly well. I'm ready to get this show on the road. I even found a coffee shop that I can do my work at, because my office kind of sucks. Maybe it'll get better once people get settled it, but it's kind of manky. And manky is the perfect word here. My only reference for it is in the fourth Harry Potter movie when they use the boot as a portkey and Harry said something about the "manky old boot." Also, Wheezer doesn't seem to like me spending a lot of time doing work. He's getting quite demanding, actually....barking and stuff. And I'm drinking some incredibly delicious Kentucky grown red wine. Very very tasty.

But anyhoo. I'm off to fool myself into thinking I'm actually doing work and making lesson plans...Keep on keepin' on!

One Week In

So, I've been in Kentucky a week now. It was last Saturday that my parents and I exhausted ourselves unloading everything from that stupid moving truck into my apartment. Things are quite homey now. I still have like three or so boxes that I need to unpack. Right now I plan on doing that tomorrow, but who knows what I will do when tomorrow actually arrives. But my furniture is comfortable. I've arranged everything how I want it. A few of my decorating touches are pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I'm not really homesick or anything. Like I said before, I'm used to living alone, so that's not a problem. And honestly not having anyone to go out with at least means I'm not spending money, which would be a REALLY bad thing to do right now. The internet and the phone also make it easier to feel at home.

Orientation began on Friday. The most exciting thing that happened was that somebody threw away my mug! I showed up with my own coffee (of course) and was then told that I could actually bring that into the presentation room. I sat it behind the pots of coffee they provided and it was still there when I came out for break. Then when we came out for lunch it was nowhere to be found and I looked in the trash and saw it under a bunch of stuff! It only cost me a dollar so I wasn't compelled to dig in after it, but I was still upset. I'm told to leave my mug out there and then it's thrown away. The kicker was that after the second break when one of the leaders came in she held up her own mug and said we should bring ours so we wouldn't create as much trash next week! I'm not bringing any of my shit with me now!

But it was fun to find that there were other history graduate students teaching this writing course. I am, however, concerned about the time it will take away from my own work. I have two conferences to attend this semester on top of taking three courses! And I've heard that the three professors I'm going to have are no walk in the park. I'm ready to have a melt down, have no time for socializing, and to make sure that I don't let this class consume me. My advisor told me I need to make sure that put these priorities in order. I'll work on it.

Well, next week I have orientation all day, every day. A bit overkill I feel, but oh well. I just hope I don't fall asleep.

Observations South of the Mason Dixon Line

Well, I'm here. I'm in Kentucky. It feels so weird. I'm used to living alone and that's not a problem. When my parents were getting ready to leave yesterday I was worried about that. I knew I would learn to find my way around. I knew that I would be fine turning my cute little apartment into a home. But the feeling of separation between myself and everyone I know back home is immense. When I log into facebook I hope that people have posted to me and stuff, because it just helps with that. I want to talk to people. I miss my parents already and they've only been gone for a little over 24 hours and we've spoken on the phone twice already. I miss my sister. Even though I probably wouldn't have seen her during this time, it's the fact that I KNOW that I wouldn't have been able to. It's the same with many of my friends too. I may not have seen them over the past few days if I had been home or in Kalamazoo, but it's just knowing that I can't now. And it's not that I'm dreading making new friends, it's just so much work. It's exhausting really. Honestly I probably deserve some kind of medal for the number of times I've had to make new friends as I've jumped from place to place haha. I'm just kidding, but it's a process and I respect the process. ANYWAYS onto my observations of Kentucky.

The People: They are incredibly friendly! I know that people say that kind of stuff, but they really are nice. People have helped me get places on campus. This older lady who lives in an apartment across my courtyard waves every time I take Wheezer out for a walk and she's looking out her patio door. The guy who lives in the apartment below me (who may or may not be attractive :P ) introduced himself within five minutes of my parents being in my apartment. I was actually at the office signing my lease, but then he came back and helped my dad unload my couch and loveseat. Many people in stores seem apologetic if you say excuse me to move around them. And I hate a busy grocery store, so that's a super plus.

The Apartment: I love my little pad. The building is cute. The apartment has just enough space, but not too much. There's nice new tile in the shower and on the bathroom and kitchen floors (not linoleum!). My kitchen has cute white cupboards and I have an adorable window over my sink. Behind my apartment I have a cute little courtyard and my balcony (which overlooks this courtyard) is big enough to enjoy sitting on it. I haven't done so yet, but I will. The place isn't perfect, but it's cute and I feel like it's me. It also has a good dose of character. Not just another apartment in a large building full of apartments, like my old one was. The help seems nice. When the maintenance guy came he even left a note saying what he did and that everything was fine! There's a community newsletter and some lady is trying to start a French conversation group which I should probably join. I dig it!

The Weather: It's atrocious! I hate heat. I hate humidity. I will not have a good hair day until winter! Actually today wasn't so bad, but that's because the humidity broke. I don't like summer clothes. I tried finding some today, but that excursion was a failure. Stores have sweaters and cardigans and normal back-to-school items, which I would normally be totally geeked about, but the thought of buying those today made me shudder. I couldn't believe these Kentuckians who actually were shopping for those things! I guess they are just used to it. I thought I was going to die walking across campus yesterday. And I don't even want to talk about the day I moved in. I just want fall to get here!

The Bugs: I have had a few bug run-ins so far. I was bracing myself for a land of more bugs, but it's still disgusting. There was some strange bug in my apartment a few days ago that I killed. There's this spider who keeps making a web in my door almost every morning. The first time I walk through the door at the crack of dawn to take Wheezer out and a spider gets on me I'm going to freak. Then today I was taking Wheezer for a little walk-about and there were these large, strange bug carcasses on the ground. I found like four. They were probably like an inch and a half long or a bit more, had fat bodies, and large wings. They must have all hatched for a night and died. I just googled that shit and I think they were cicadas. I've never risen in the morning to that, though. Back home I'm scared of the giant black pinching beetles. You find those carcases in the morning. These are ranking right up there. I'm feeling creepy just thinking about it.

The Traffic: Terrible. End of story. It's like 28th Street in Grand Rapids during December on a Saturday EVERY DAY! My route to school shouldn't be too bad as long as I time my drive around traffic, but I was in the shopping area today, in the middle of the afternoon, and it was traffic hell.

The Accent: It's kind of freaking me out. Some people have a strong accent and some people don't. And many of the people who don't are still from Kentucky. As I was walking through the mall and Target today I kept hearing small kids yell "Mawmay!" and other children were bickering with their drawl....it almost makes me laugh sometimes. The mild accent doesn't bother me but then out of nowhere you hear a really strong one and it's like WHOA! God, I'm even thinking in that crazy accent. The plus side to this, old people sound AWESOME! My parents and I went to Fort Boonesborough (as in Daniel Boone) and there was this older guy working as the Fort gunsmith and he had a very strong accent. I'm guessing he was from southern Kentucky. He sounded incredible. He said "bar hunting" and that they used "bar grease" when shaving out the barrel of the rifle." I could've listened to him tell me stories all day long. And he made a few beautiful rifles. It was a little hard to understand him at first, but once you got it...it was like butter. On the flip side, nobody has said anything about my accent. A few people have asked where I'm from or said "you folks aren't from around here are you," but nobody has said they could tell we were from Michigan or told me my accent was weird, or anything like that. It's probably just a matter of time.

Well, I think those are all of my Kentucky observations today. I'm sure I'll have more to say soon, but I was thinking about these things as I sat in traffic today :P

Fallen for Fall

So, I know it's only August and I know that I still have around a month and a half until I can be appropriately excited for autumn, but these stores already pushing their orange decorations and pumpkin scented candles have me dreaming of fall already. Did I mention fall is my favorite season? Oh, well it is!

I don't know what it is about fall that I love so much. Beautiful crimson, golden, and orange leaves seem so much more beautiful to me than new pink flowers and green leaves. I dream of a crisp cool breeze ruffling my jacket more than a warm ray of sun of my cheek. I mean, don't get me wrong there is nothing better than a beautiful spring day to boost the spirits after a long, cold, dreary January, February, and sometimes even March. I suffer from the winter blues just as much as the next peppy person, but when I think about fall all year long. It's never long enough. And maybe that's why I yearn for the fall climate and color palate; fall is the shortest season. In actuality spring is probably just as short, but it leads to summer, during which there are loads of sun, flowers, and puffy clouds in a beautiful blue sky. There are at least three months to have bonfires and beach trips, but there is a month and half for cider mill trips and pumpkin decorations, and maybe a few weeks for peak fall color activity. It's so fleeting that I can never fully get my fill before the first snow falls, all the leaves are on the ground, and Halloween has passed.

That brings me to the other reason why fall is so incredible: Halloween. Fall seems so mysterious, magical, and...forboding(?). I'm not sure what word I want to put at the end there. The days grow shorter and talk soon turns to ghosts, goblins, and ghouls. I must admit, that I love all three of these things. A scary movie is so much better with a cup of cider, a sweater, and a half-naked tree out the window. Since I am not religious at all spring's claim of Easter doesn't even begin to compare to fall's ownership of Halloween. Bring on the superstitions, scary folk stories, and eerie buildings. Fall has the ability to enter the mind while creating the perfect ambiance for spooky activities.

So, since it is only August 3rd and I still have three whole months until Halloween (which is fine, because I want to have time to enjoy all of my fall dreams), I will keep dreaming about my moccasins and cardigans, chai and apple cider, pumpkin flavored and scented everything, orange, red, and brown decorations, crisp weather, and spooky Halloween stories, movies, and television programming. Maybe it's a good thing that the stores are getting me excited early; I have more time to enjoy all of the fall I want :)