Dear Lexington, Thanks for Wasting My Time AKA Why I Hate Cities

So, after a less than desirable Monday for a myriad of small reasons, my Tuesday hasn't been much better. I have a lot of reading to get done today and so I wanted to go somewhere to do that reading. My apartment is too distracting for it. I can write. I can grade. I can do a lot of things, but focusing on New South politics is not one of them. Wheezer always wants something. Hell, I always want something. So, I thought I had a great plan for my Tuesday (my day off). I was going to get up, have breakfast, do dishes (so I could in theory stay out later working), fill out this workshop application, grade something for a student, and then depart. That way I could have lunch at the apartment and not leave early because I got hungry or spend money on food out. Everything was fine until it came time to leave.

I planned on going to the library. I packed my things, grabbed this book I needed to return and left. Now, yesterday when I got to campus at around this time there were a few open spots, because people had left for lunch. Oh and you should know that the parking situation is HELL. There are two small lots for employees (which I am), but it's always full with library employees. So I get there, expecting to find a spot or two and there were none. I sat for a few minutes, drove around each one a few times and then left. There's this parking garage near the library, but I don't know who can park there or even how to get to the damn thing. So I end up driving through this dreadful flood of students (because there are tons of dorms around this library so there are several residence lots, which really pisses me off. Can we talk, for a moment, about how far away I had to park from my dorm when I was an undergrad? Well, it was a nice hike. Oh and there's all of this grassy area around the library. Sure, it looks nice, but what about all of the people who want to use it. Well, I could've parked in another area of campus, but damnit, it's far and I have a heavy bag, and I didn't dress for a long walk to wherever I was doing homework, and I pay close to $300 for that employee tag so something should come with it! I knew couldn't go to my office, for I would've gotten no reading done there.

So, I decide to go to this coffee shop I went to last weekend and liked (this was my back-up plan all along). On the way I get turned around because of the ridiculous design that is Lexington. At one point I turn down a "road" which said it was one-way and it dead-ended! WTF?! There was no sign! I ended up driving through several parking areas for different duplexes that all converged back there and came out at another road. I mean I couldn't just turn around...IT WAS ONE WAY!!! But I make it there and the like five parking spots it has are full. The lot I parked in last time can only be used by the coffee shop patrons on the weekends, otherwise you need a permit!

So, I then think, well I'll check out this Starbucks nearby. I get into the cramped parking lot that surrounds this plaza and it's full! Well, there's one spot, but due to the fact that the spots are tiny and another wide vehicle was parked like right on the line (because the spots are tiny) I can't park there. I drive back to the library one more time and no dice.

So, I angrily drove back to my apartment, cursing all of the way.

This is what I hate about living in cities...the parking! At least in Kalamazoo there were enough locations to go to that had ample parking and there was plenty of parking on campus. Sure it wasn't as aesthetically pleasing as UK's campus, but it was compact, meaning things were close enough together that it didn't matter where you ended up parking. Sure, there were the really close lots, but the big lot that was "far away" was still like half the distance of where I would've ended up parking here. There were no wasted grassy areas! God!

Now I realize that it was my decision to live further away and, thus, I need to drive everywhere, but that's because I'm not a fan of loud things (ask the Kalamazoo police department, I was always calling in people), trash, bums, and freaks. Here I can take Wheezer out at midnight or 2 am if he has to and I'm not afraid of that someone will mug me. I don't have to worry about freaks knocking on my door or taking alternate paths so I won't be followed. I don't have to worry about people breaking into my car. So sue me for wanting safety in my location. I just can't stand the insanity of the parking situations. I like a parking lot, with plenty of room to drive into and maneuver around. I don't like being concerned about going someplace and not being able to find a place to park. And paying to park REALLY pisses me off. You want me to go to the businesses in town right? Well, maybe you should let me without charging me!

I grew up in the country. We drove everywhere, because the closest town was a ten minute drive. Oh and that's actually ten miles, not this ridiculous go 3 miles in ten minutes due to traffic, stop lights, and shit. I couldn't walk to a friend's house, because my closest neighbor was a mile away and they didn't even have children my age. My closest friend was a five minute drive (going 60 mph) away. Yeah.

Sorry for this incredibly negative post, but I'm just very very angry right now and I'm having a bad week and I just want to go home.

Sad Face

So I've been back in Kentucky for like a week and I'm just missing home terribly. I just feel like going home for break really nailed the fact that it isn't the center of my universe anymore. I will always call it home, but at least until I'm done here, Michigan isn't my "base of operations" so to speak. Before home was the constant and I would go home for a weekend whenever I could/wanted. But that's not the deal anymore and, frankly, I don't like it. I know that I need to be able to move wherever I need to get a job, but I don't like that. I think I will be trying as hard as possible to get a job there. I just like being able to run home if I want. I like being able to have my mom cook me dinner if I've had a bad week. Now after a bad week I have a lame crying phone conversation with my mom, when, if I wasn't far away I probably wouldn't have been crying in the first place. I don't even know.

All of this always leads to some big question about whether or not this is really want I want to be doing and I mean I honestly don't know. I like to think it is, but I keep thinking about possible other fun lives doing other fun things...which could potentially take place in Michigan.

At one point I thought about going home for the summer. I'm not taking classes or anything. Sure, I would have to pay rent while I'm at home, but I would be spending less on other things were I there and maybe Biggby would want me back. Then I thought I would stay here, but once again, I'm thinking about going home. I just can't give it up as home. I don't want to live hundreds of miles away from the most important people in my life for the rest of my life. I want to be closer. By closer I mean like same state. It doesn't have to be like the same town or right up the road or anything like that.

Well now that I've sounded quite silly for a while I suppose I should go and see if that bacon is thawed out. I'm not sure what I'm making for dinner, but it's going to involve bacon :P

A Look Back

It's now 2012 and thinking back over the past year it seems like so much as gone on. I mean, it has, but it seems like far far too much to be all jammed into one year. I mean I wrote a thesis, got a new job (the writing center gig), got my Masters degree (!), moved to a new state (!!), saw my sister get married, presented in two conferences, traveled to New York City by myself, taught a class that's not even in my field, and survived my first semester at UK. Holy crap has it all been exhausting, but incredibly rewarding.

I've also made some incredible new friends and strengthened old friendships. My new Lexington friends have been incredible. We've shared good times and supported one another when we've wanted to give up. Well, I guess I should say when I've wanted to give up, because I'm not sure others have haha. And coming back home over break has shown me just how much I miss my Michigan peeps. I got to spend some time with some Western friends but not nearly enough. It's just so weird and sad going from seeing people every day to spending one day with them over break.

Oh and can we for a moment talk about the addition to my life, Wheezer! I adopted a dog last year and he's been a highlight of my life. It took quite a bit of time to like allow the fact that I had a dog sink in, but now I can't imagine life without the little guy. He can be a terror. He totally plays me, but he adds something to my life with gray beard and eyebrows and grumpy disposition.

I suppose if I had to sum up this past year in one word in would be growth. I've grown a lot in a lot of ways. I mean I'm living in another state! I traveled to New York City alone! And it's all felt great. I'm proud of 2011, but now 2012 holds new things. Whereas 2011 was all about Sam the student, 2012 needs to be a bit more about Sam the person. It's time to change some habits, cultivate some new relationships, and find a few new dreams to chase.