Sad Face

So I've been back in Kentucky for like a week and I'm just missing home terribly. I just feel like going home for break really nailed the fact that it isn't the center of my universe anymore. I will always call it home, but at least until I'm done here, Michigan isn't my "base of operations" so to speak. Before home was the constant and I would go home for a weekend whenever I could/wanted. But that's not the deal anymore and, frankly, I don't like it. I know that I need to be able to move wherever I need to get a job, but I don't like that. I think I will be trying as hard as possible to get a job there. I just like being able to run home if I want. I like being able to have my mom cook me dinner if I've had a bad week. Now after a bad week I have a lame crying phone conversation with my mom, when, if I wasn't far away I probably wouldn't have been crying in the first place. I don't even know.

All of this always leads to some big question about whether or not this is really want I want to be doing and I mean I honestly don't know. I like to think it is, but I keep thinking about possible other fun lives doing other fun things...which could potentially take place in Michigan.

At one point I thought about going home for the summer. I'm not taking classes or anything. Sure, I would have to pay rent while I'm at home, but I would be spending less on other things were I there and maybe Biggby would want me back. Then I thought I would stay here, but once again, I'm thinking about going home. I just can't give it up as home. I don't want to live hundreds of miles away from the most important people in my life for the rest of my life. I want to be closer. By closer I mean like same state. It doesn't have to be like the same town or right up the road or anything like that.

Well now that I've sounded quite silly for a while I suppose I should go and see if that bacon is thawed out. I'm not sure what I'm making for dinner, but it's going to involve bacon :P

A Look Back

It's now 2012 and thinking back over the past year it seems like so much as gone on. I mean, it has, but it seems like far far too much to be all jammed into one year. I mean I wrote a thesis, got a new job (the writing center gig), got my Masters degree (!), moved to a new state (!!), saw my sister get married, presented in two conferences, traveled to New York City by myself, taught a class that's not even in my field, and survived my first semester at UK. Holy crap has it all been exhausting, but incredibly rewarding.

I've also made some incredible new friends and strengthened old friendships. My new Lexington friends have been incredible. We've shared good times and supported one another when we've wanted to give up. Well, I guess I should say when I've wanted to give up, because I'm not sure others have haha. And coming back home over break has shown me just how much I miss my Michigan peeps. I got to spend some time with some Western friends but not nearly enough. It's just so weird and sad going from seeing people every day to spending one day with them over break.

Oh and can we for a moment talk about the addition to my life, Wheezer! I adopted a dog last year and he's been a highlight of my life. It took quite a bit of time to like allow the fact that I had a dog sink in, but now I can't imagine life without the little guy. He can be a terror. He totally plays me, but he adds something to my life with gray beard and eyebrows and grumpy disposition.

I suppose if I had to sum up this past year in one word in would be growth. I've grown a lot in a lot of ways. I mean I'm living in another state! I traveled to New York City alone! And it's all felt great. I'm proud of 2011, but now 2012 holds new things. Whereas 2011 was all about Sam the student, 2012 needs to be a bit more about Sam the person. It's time to change some habits, cultivate some new relationships, and find a few new dreams to chase.