Let's Get Political!

Every now and again I get a little too upset about something and just need to rant about it. It seems this has been happening more and more lately, generally when it comes to those Republicans with their head so far up their asses (now I'm not saying all Republicans are like this, but many of the loudest are) that they can't see the country can't continue without more income and that ought to come from those who have the most to spare...THE WEALTHY! Jefferson supported a graduated system of taxation. There are some people who have more money to give and they should WANT to work for the common good. THAT, my friends, the COMMON GOOD, is actually a foundation of America. Independence and individualism in a sense, but all of these individuals understood that the common good needed to be supported. This is a cornerstone of Puritanism! Actually, I feel like that's probably a cornerstone of Christianity, another idea that these right-wing conservatives like to throw around without actually supporting it. Politicians make a living out of grabbing an idea and using it on occasion, when it supports them (say, in a fight against terrorism) but not when it could potentially take away from them (like helping those who need it).

Now, that, honestly, is not the actual topic that prompted to me to write this entry today. I was reading the book American Insurgents, American Patriots by T. H. Breen today for one my courses and something struck me. The Tea Party (as in the political group that has BASTARDIZED the name of a political event in our history) claims that they can use the name they have chosen, because they want to get back to libertarian principles present at the founding of the country. They claim that the colonists fought the British because they were overbearing and they didn't want to pay taxes. The patriots wanted government out of their lives. Well, to a certain extent this is true; they did want BRITISH government out of their lives for a myriad of reasons these fools could never comprehend, hell I can never comprehend it all and I study this stuff! They, however, wanted their own colonial governments back. The colonists wanted a kind of independence and individualism, but they also knew that this came with a great responsibility to their community, to helping those in need, to supporting the less fortunate and to work for the COMMON GOOD!

There were institutions, during the mid-1770s, that came together and acted as governments for the rebellious colonized. These groups organized nonimportation movements, collected donations for those suffering after the closing of the port of Boston, and put in place PUBLIC WORKS PROGRAMS! That's right, colonial organizations collected money and put out of work men to work fixing roads in Boston, so they would have money! What else does this sound like? Hmm...perhaps a bit reminiscent of FDR? Perhaps like some of the programs that conservatives continually denounce on principles that they say come from the Founding Generation? Did you know that when local townsmen didn't want to donate (for whatever reason) or spoke against these programs they were harassed for not supporting their fellow colonists in need of help?

Maybe members of the this terrible movement I can't stand calling the "Tea Party" should crack open a history book before they latch onto a fraction of an ideology and run with it. They look like the fools. They are, in actuality, ruining the memory of the events they claim to respect so much. I would prefer that they all suffered some kind of amnesia and could no longer remember the event than to manipulate its meaning in the dreadful ways they have.

Holy Shit! I'm a Grown Up!

Let's get real for a minute. It's becoming increasingly clear to me that I'm no longer part of the "young generation" that I have just been associating myself with basically since going to college. I'm not part of cohort anymore!

I think teaching has made this abundantly clear to me this year. The other day in class my students said something about Titanic and then I told my story of first watching Titanic and how I was in middle school when it came out and they stared at me in disbelief and little smile. That's when I realized, whoa. I'm not THAT group anymore.

I always laughed when my older friends got to this age and talked about younger people this way or about feeling old in this way, but I get it now! It suddenly hits you that you're a grown up. Staying in school for a million years has a way of making you not feel like a grown up, but I am.

Other little things have been happening that make me feel like a grown up. Suddenly, I realized that I'm living alone like a grown-up. I mean I've been living alone, but now it's like "Shit, this is my life!" And then I always think of that episode of 30 Rock in which Jack says something to Liz Lemon along the lines of "You sit at home alone worried that you're going to choke on something and nobody is with you to save you." Yup, I've related to that concern for some time now. It's just Wheezer and I.

I'm also feeling more professionally grown up. For example, on Monday I will be attending a lecture by a rather famous historian with my advisor, after which we will be going to dinner with some other historians, maybe rather famous historian as well. I'm terrified. I mean I have a good time with my advisor and I've always related well to adults, but these are almost my colleagues. And I will be reflecting on my advisor in a professional way. Good thing historians aren't always known for their social skills and graces.

Anywho. I'm grown up. It's weird. I'm no longer part of the phrase "Young People These Days." Well, not that I was really ever part of that phrase in most senses of this phrase. Strange.

Reflections

One strange thing fall does to me (I know, I'm talking about fall again) is put me in a rather reflective mood. I can think of two possible reasons for this.

1. As the leaves begin to fall I get the sense that nature is shedding the past year. It's getting rid of everything that was good and bad (perhaps a nasty bug infestation that ate the leaves) about the prior "green season". It will take a break, rest for the winter and then start again in the spring. I know that trees don't just sit absolutely dormant all winter long. I'm sure they are preparing for a new growing year in ways we can't see. Perhaps they are sinking their roots further into the ground or storing up...hell I don't know. I need to quit pretending I know what plants do for dramatic effect haha. But anyways, that's how it feels to me.

2. Every year since I've started school, fall has always meant the start of my new school year. I've never not been a student, so I have no idea what fall is like without the sense of new year. I always say things like "I'm going to stay more organized this year" and "I'm going to stay on top of my reading" but it never happens.

Anywho those are the only two reasons I can see for this sort of reflective mood. Today as I was getting ready for the day it suddenly hit me. And when I say "it" I mean everything. I'm in a PhD program. I mean, of course I am, but if you would've asked high school Sam (yes I wanted to be a history professor in high school haha)if I would be here now I probably would've said yes, because I wanted it, but I don't know if I actually ever believed it would happen. And not only that but I'm a big state university working with well established historians! That, I never would've believed.

In some ways I don't even know if high school Sam would recognize this Sam. Not in a bad way; I mean I've still retained everything that is me. I still geek out over Harry Potter, watch The Patriot as a guilty pleasure, and enjoy ghostly/paranormal things. But I'm so much less shy than I even was two years ago when I started at Western. That's not to say that I was a terribly awkward individual, but I was quieter and a bit more nervous about meeting people. In high school I never "went out." This was in part due to the fact that I lived in the middle of nowhere, but also because I just didn't. At Ferris I didn't too much either. I eventually started going out at Western, but it took a bit. And I had an awesome built-in hang-out buddy with my awesome roommate. But after a month or two I started going out with history people. Now, however, I'm planning things and going out with people and I was doing so after two weeks of being here.

So, when I'm having one of those dreadful days in which graduate school has totally punched me the stomach, or I just can't seem to muster the motivation to read another book about Thomas Jefferson or something, I just have to tell myself that I'm doing just fine and force myself to look at how far I've already made it.

Soo.....This is What PhD School Is Like

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've just been so busy! I forgot what it was like to have all of these weekly readings and stuff. Yeesh! I'm trying to keep up, but there are a few things that are getting in my way. Teaching this class, for example, or going home for Mandy's wedding. I mean it was fantastic and I loved going home, but it was hard to get my mind off of all of the work I had to do. Now, I'm pooped and have a few more things to get done by the end of Wednesday. Then there are other silly things like sleeping, eating, and the need for some socialization. Damn.

But I am apparently doing a few things right. I like to think I'm rocking two of my classes. I don't feel like I'm going through that period of being nervous to talk in class, or being afraid of sounding dumb, or feeling like everyone is smarter than me. I'm glad I'm not going through that again, because that was rough my first semester at Western. So yay for confidence.

Speaking of Western, I recently received an email saying that Western is FINALLY giving me my degree! I should receive it in ten weeks. I want it now!

So, I am having a serious lack of motivation at the moment. I did some intense work yesterday. I didn't stop for more than twelve hours! And I think because of that I'm very blahhh today. I just can't pull myself together! And I'm concerned I might have some allergy stuff coming up. I usually get something around this time of year and after the past five days, I could understand why.

Oh! And I forgot to tell you all about the code-names for my professors. This will help in the future if I have stories to share or something.
1) Willy Wonka
2) Tommy Lee Jones
3) John Malkovich.
It's really quite a genius method I have here. For some reason I like figuring out what celebrities people I meet remind me of. Or my mind automatically tries to categorize physical, and sometimes, more personality based traits. But mostly physical traits.

Well, I should probably try to get something done. Or just go to bed and get up early. I'm actually starting to get into that habit. It's so weird. I suppose I was able to do this when I was working at Biggby. It was nothing for me to get up crazy early on a morning that I didn't have to open to start getting work done. Even thought I nap in the afternoon when I get up that early I just like the feeling of accomplishing a lot by like 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. It's like empowering.

Motivation Fail...

Well, this was inevitable, right? My complete lack of motivation once the work came to get it done... Personally, I think that giving someone a semester of their own to work on a thesis and then shoving them back into courses, where they have to read assigned books and write about things they don't necessarily want to write about is a very cruel joke. At first the prospect of a class schedule and developing a rigid schedule for myself was exciting. And I realize that I'm saying at first and I've only completed half of a week of the semester, but the schedule of work I wrote out in my planner for the week completely failed. I can partially blame my class fiasco of Wednesday, but we all know that I'm digging for an excuse. Well, let's hope I can buckle down next week, because with Mandy's wedding coming and my two conferences, I NEED discipline now more than ever...

Moving on...I'm dying for fall to arrive. I know that I blabbed on and on about my love for autumn in a previous blog, but now that it's almost September I'm completely ready. There are a few brownish/yellowish leaves in trees and on the ground, but I'm still encountering ninety degree days. And pumpkins....geeze I want pumpkin everything right now. Pumpkin beer, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin fudge, pumpkin decorations, pumpkin candles (I keep going to Bath and Body Works hoping they have their candles on sale, but they don't!). I want to start wearing my cardigans. I broke out my moccasins the other day so that was nice. I want to need a jacket. Also, once it starts getting cooler I won't feel bad about days like today, in which I don't plan on putting real clothes on at all. AND my air conditioner will stop running. Well, I suppose I could turn it off now, but that would be awful.

Well, time to get this show on the road I suppose. I've been getting up surprisingly early the past few weeks, so it's not quite noon and I've already had couch time, made and ate pancakes, took Wheezer for a walk, cleaned my kitchen, have a load of laundry in the washer, and am finishing my online procrastination. I foresee a long day of reading ahead of me.

Blog Barf

Oy vey! I have sooooooo much on my mind. I haven't blogged in a while because every time I considered it I realized that I had tons that I would like to talk about and it would take quite some time to get it all down on paper. I'll try to sum it all up in a less than lengthy post.

I taught today. It went quite well. I only have 13 students which I am INCREDIBLY happy about. That's more than 10 under the cap so I could've potentially had 12 more of everything to grade. But I was just me and the students seemed to be at least content being in the room. I can't blame them for not being happy. I would've been pretty pissed to be in a composition and communication class AND to be there at 8am. But I had them talking to partners, to the class, free-writing, and a while at least thinking. I hope it keeps going swimmingly.

I had my first class of my own yesterday and I kinda think I rocked it! Well, especially when you consider the fact that I found out 15 minutes ahead of time that I actually had the class. But, I think I managed to say several semi-intelligent things in class and my professor kinda looked Willy Wonka a la Gene Wilder. He had this crazy curly hair that kind of stuck up and he just seemed kind of silly. I think we'll probably get along quite well. Yay! I have my two other classes on Monday, so we'll see how those go.

I'm making friends! Not that you were all concerned that I wouldn't, but it's still one of those things a person can't help but fret a bit about. What if the people you meet just don't like you? What if you just don't jive? What if other people aren't that outgoing? What if I am suddenly not that outgoing? But we all know that I can't be shut up lol. But what if others are annoyed by me? And as I've said before, making new friends is just such hard work. Turns out, however, that the process has been quite smooth and easy. We're all in the same boat. And, well, what better to bring a group of people together than a week of grueling orientation!

I've only had one serious homesick spell, so I consider that a win! It just sort of came upon me. I got up on Saturday, watched a movie on TV, showered, and then I just started crying. I went out and looked at pretty things I would like to buy and then some of these new friends invited me out, so all was well. It's still an adjustment, but I'm used to living alone, so the day-to-day isn't so bad.

Honestly, I'm not sure if there is anything else I would like to elaborate on at the moment. Things are going surprisingly well. I'm ready to get this show on the road. I even found a coffee shop that I can do my work at, because my office kind of sucks. Maybe it'll get better once people get settled it, but it's kind of manky. And manky is the perfect word here. My only reference for it is in the fourth Harry Potter movie when they use the boot as a portkey and Harry said something about the "manky old boot." Also, Wheezer doesn't seem to like me spending a lot of time doing work. He's getting quite demanding, actually....barking and stuff. And I'm drinking some incredibly delicious Kentucky grown red wine. Very very tasty.

But anyhoo. I'm off to fool myself into thinking I'm actually doing work and making lesson plans...Keep on keepin' on!

One Week In

So, I've been in Kentucky a week now. It was last Saturday that my parents and I exhausted ourselves unloading everything from that stupid moving truck into my apartment. Things are quite homey now. I still have like three or so boxes that I need to unpack. Right now I plan on doing that tomorrow, but who knows what I will do when tomorrow actually arrives. But my furniture is comfortable. I've arranged everything how I want it. A few of my decorating touches are pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I'm not really homesick or anything. Like I said before, I'm used to living alone, so that's not a problem. And honestly not having anyone to go out with at least means I'm not spending money, which would be a REALLY bad thing to do right now. The internet and the phone also make it easier to feel at home.

Orientation began on Friday. The most exciting thing that happened was that somebody threw away my mug! I showed up with my own coffee (of course) and was then told that I could actually bring that into the presentation room. I sat it behind the pots of coffee they provided and it was still there when I came out for break. Then when we came out for lunch it was nowhere to be found and I looked in the trash and saw it under a bunch of stuff! It only cost me a dollar so I wasn't compelled to dig in after it, but I was still upset. I'm told to leave my mug out there and then it's thrown away. The kicker was that after the second break when one of the leaders came in she held up her own mug and said we should bring ours so we wouldn't create as much trash next week! I'm not bringing any of my shit with me now!

But it was fun to find that there were other history graduate students teaching this writing course. I am, however, concerned about the time it will take away from my own work. I have two conferences to attend this semester on top of taking three courses! And I've heard that the three professors I'm going to have are no walk in the park. I'm ready to have a melt down, have no time for socializing, and to make sure that I don't let this class consume me. My advisor told me I need to make sure that put these priorities in order. I'll work on it.

Well, next week I have orientation all day, every day. A bit overkill I feel, but oh well. I just hope I don't fall asleep.