So, I have been thinking for quite some time that I'm losing my creative mojo. I used to LOVE writing. I used to journal, attempt to at least start legitimate stories...at one point I had a notebook full of what I called "Sam's Story Starters." They were ideas I had about a book. Maybe it was a synopsis, a character sketch, the first few pages of a story. I even had a few which I had typed over thirty pages for. They are long gone, unfortunately...in fact I do wonder what happened to some of them. ANYWAYS...
I still LOVE writing, but I just seem compelled to make to time for it. I think about it when I'm not doing it, but then when I get some free time I watch a movie, or TV, or...something. Even when I do finally commit myself to writing it's not very long lived. I'll generally start it while watching a movie and then slowly lose interest and never come back to it. I've even lost a bit of interest in my journal. I've felt so overwhelmed with things that I can't properly process and reflect on it all. It's too exhausting to process it all in one sitting or even to pick out one thing from it all to write about. This makes me so sad. I blame it, partially, on school.
In a conversation with a dear friend tonight she mentioned that we don't think of ourselves as writers, but as academics, students, historians, teachers, etc., who write. This is so true. Although the writing is important for certain reasons, the passion of the writing process is overlooked in my field. I was once told that I write too much like a popular historian, which I didn't actually take as a criticism. I'm glad I have a bit of flair, a bit of my own voice. It's quickly being sucked from me and I hate it. I used to want to be an author, of fiction, and now I can't even make time to start a story. This needs to be remedied!
I am attempting to gather creative, colorful decorations for my new apartment in Kentucky. I need to be surrounded by things that inspire me. When I was living at home, my room was filled with things that made me happy (posters, candles, knick-knacks) and I painted my walls blue with silver moons and stars. I have a lot of decorations in my current apartment, but it's just not inspiring. I also need to make some kind of goal for myself....maybe like writing something creative once a week or something. I don't know. I'd be willing to take suggestions. My time at the Writing Center and future as an English instructor at Kentucky have got me thinking about this, as well as my dear friend's experiences in a current writing project. We'll see how it all goes. Wish me luck! I need my mojo!
In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott tells us it is important to write every day, finding a routine that works for us, and following it. When I read this advice (over and over, it's a commonly restated theme in her book), I thought it was impossible, or for other people. You know the type, those people who manage to do it all and still look well rested? But now I'm realizing that it is possible (even for me), and it's really ALL about that second point--making the routine.
ReplyDeleteAnne Lamott would also tell us to "look through a one-inch picture frame." To focus on a small piece of writing at a time, a character sketch, a short description, etc., like you describe of your S.S.S. I've been thinking of this advice as a mantra taken a bit further to cover all things in life (a little bit at a time, or "taking it bird by bird" as described in another Lamott anecdote). It helps because I think success is also about forgiving yourself if the only writing you get done is writing a note on Facebook, as long as you think of yourself as a writer and "feed" that creative side of yourself.